Brown Ballerina Advice: Tips for Staying Positive

Faith Carrillo, Brown Girls Do Ballet Ambassador

As a dancer, have you ever felt excluded from your peers? Have you ever felt discouraged because you did not think you were progressing? Have you ever felt isolated and unseen because you do not look like your studio mates? Then you are not alone. 

In ballet, especially for young dancers, it is common to think that your struggles are yours only. Many times, it can feel hard to relate to others. We all want the same thing: to be the best we can be - but it is very easy to feel weighed down by negative thoughts and insecurities. It is imperative that you know that there are people out there who are going through the same thing as you. 

In the article below, I asked a few of my fellow Brown Girls Do Ballet Ambassadors to speak to these issues and give advice on different ways to deal with them. Together, we can make these conversations more common and learn more ways to motivate and uplift our peers and ourselves!

What is some advice you can give to dancers who feel excluded from their peers?

“Don't be upset, some peers may be focused on another thing or another person, this doesn't mean they are not your friend, this may just mean that they want to communicate with other people.” -Reign Selah

“If you are feeling excluded in any way, I would say, always try to say “hi”. You never know, maybe they were too shy to speak to you or didn’t even know you felt excluded.” -Alexandra Francois

Related: Brown Ballerina Advice: Learn From Our Ambassadors

How do you stay motivated when you feel you aren’t progressing?

“I tell myself to keep trying and to not give up because the times when you want to be done with something or are tired are the times you need to push more.” -Reign Selah

“This question really resonated for me because at times, I find myself feeling like maybe I'm just not good enough. At those times, I take a step back and meditate. Then I get back up, put in some good, hard work...I mean, really sweat it out. As dancers, we are our toughest critics. Sometimes we may think we aren't progressing, but the more you show up and show out, the better you will feel. Even if you're not seeing progress, likely everyone around you is!” -GiGi Henley

“When I’m feeling unmotivated, I always go back and watch old dance videos. Looking back on old dance videos always reminds me that even if I feel like I’m not progressing, little me would’ve never thought I’d be doing the things I do now. Remember that progress is always happening, and that ‘overnight progress’ is just the final turning point of all the little steps you take to get there.” -Ava D. James

“Staying motivated can be hard, but I find that keeping a positive mindset, surrounding yourself with people that want nothing but the best for you, and never losing sight of your goals makes it 10x easier.” -Harmonie Moran

“Watching my favorite dancers and hearing their story really helps me understand that progression takes time and doesn’t come to people as fast as others.” -Alexandra Francois

How do you navigate through the dance world when you feel alone?

“I never really felt alone before but if I did then I would tell myself that there is always going to be another way, I know that I can support others, but I also know I can support myself by finding my way and pushing through even the tough times.” -Reign Selah

“I talk to mentors and teachers I have as well as my dance friends and classmates for advice.” -Alexandra Francois

What are some ways to make yourself noticed when you feel there is favoritism?

 

“I always give my best and use the notes in class to help me at auditions to be the best dancer I can be.” -Reign Selah

“Ways that I make myself noticed when I feel there is favoritism, is I continue to be true to myself and do the best that I can with my technique to make sure that it is sharp and will get noticed. I also continue to hold my head up high and never get defeated when there is favoritism.” -Aliana Mohan

“On the topic of making yourself be noticed when you can see favoritism, it will not be easy. I heard one mom tell her child, ‘You just have to wait your turn.’ You cannot do that. Time is precious. Go to the front of the class. Be confident. Don't let the dirty looks and comments get to you. They got to me, but I was able to fight them. I had to leave and come back to feel noticed. Sometimes, even if you have to step back, it will make you stronger. Be confident, be fearless, don't let no one stop you.” -Anonymous

“Always try your best. That is all you can do. Show that this doesn’t affect you and you’re still going to work hard to show that you can excel just as well as anyone else” -Alexandra Francois

Any tips on what to do when you feel you are excluded because you don’t look like your studio mates?

“All dancers are different. Nobody in this world is the same as others, so if you are feeling excluded, don't shrink down and not give the best that you've got. Show up and show out and understand that everyone in the room is an amazing dancer but just in different ways.” -Reign Selah

“When you feel excluded because you don’t look like your teammates, take a second to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Take the time to listen to your emotions and why it’s reasonable to feel that way. Closure can make a big difference.” -Harmonie Moran

“Know that no matter what you look like you can do anything. Race, gender, religion etc., shouldn’t hold you to a certain standard or level. Never forget that.” -Alexandra Francois

Why do you think it’s important for young dancers to have a supportive community?

“Like a lot of people say the young ones are the future and it's true! Kids are the people who can make a difference in the world for the next generation. Having support, whether it is making a post for someone online or helping and being a part of someone’s journey.” -Reign Selah

“I believe it is important to have a supportive community while being young because you might not get that everywhere. Having a safe space is always needed. It truly can save you in your darkest hour. Being a young dancer, a simple ‘good job’ truly can affect them for the rest of their life. That safe space can be a person, a place, but a community, that will inspire them and remind them that nothing is impossible.”

-Anonymous

“I feel as young dancers we often compare ourselves to others and feel we have to compete and be “better” than others and this results in us tearing ourselves down. A support system can really help us navigate our way and show us that it's about your own improvement, not being better than others.” -Alexandra Francois

Related: Advice for Our Younger Dance Selves

Any wisdom on how to create your own safe space within the dance world?

“If you are lost or don't know what to do and don't feel safe, get somebody to help you on your dance journey. Asking questions is going to be a BIG part in your journey so don't be afraid.” -Reign Selah

“Remember why you like dancing. With all that happens in the dance world, it’s easy to get caught up in tracking progress, and comparing yourself. When you feel yourself losing the joy, go back to what made you like dancing in the first place. Whether it’s a specific song or style, just let yourself move.” -Ava D. James